Monday, November 17, 2008

Heart Broken & Confused

I don't want to get into too much detail, but being this is my personal online journal, I had to write something down today that has been weighing down on my heart.

I was out of town over the weekend, a short but much needed get away. I came home Sunday afternoon only to discover that one of my dear friends had packed up all her belongings and moved away. Not a trace was left of her...not a forwarding address, not a working phone number, not even a good email address. I have been worried about this friend for some time now and have always felt as if I should do more to make things better for her. I guess even though we may have the best intentions to help a loved one (a friend or family member) we may not fully understand what it is they need help with.

I guess the part of this whole thing that breaks my heart the most is I NEVER thought SHE would leave without at the very least saying goodbye.

I have played in my head over and over, WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID OR DID? but I truly cannot come up with anything. I almost feel like I wish it was something I said or did because then it might make some sense to me.

I picked up the kids from their Uncle's house and headed to the store...the kids and I shopped for birthday gifts for her two children-because they both had recent birthdays and hadn't yet had a party to celebrate. I found the last 2 seasons of FRIENDS and bought them with excitement because this was something my friend and I would do in the evenings together and we were about to finish the series. Only to discover that she is GONE.

Now I am worried....worried for what she is going through. Worried about the state of mind she must be in, to leave without a call/a text or a short note to say say, she had to leave. To say she'd call me to let me know when she arrives safely.

I wish I could stop feeling responsible for this whole situation. I feel in my heart that I did what I could do to help a friend in need. She had a lot on her plate. Single mother, finding her career path, a dead beat husband/father of her children, financial struggles, self esteem issues. No matter what her struggles are/were, she was such a beautiful person inside and out to me and those who got to know her and I will miss her always. I can only hope and pray that she is okay and that she will find her way back home...wherever that may be.

Please pray for my friend...her name I will not mention, but please pray for her and her kids.

Thank you!


April said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Please don't feel as if YOU have done something wrong. It sounds like your friend has a lot on her plate and might be completely overwhelmed and trying to "escape". I hope you hear from her soon!

Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Please know that you did NOTHING wrong. Some people just need space. I hope you hear from her soon and that she is doing ok. I will say a prayer for her and her children :(